When moving abroad, things will most likely not be all sunshine. In this post, I wrote about the 5 phases of moving abroad. Today, I would like to give you some tips on each of them and how to overcome feelings like homesickness or culture shocks. I have moved from Germany to the US, back to Germany, and then to Ireland. While I know, that some of these tips might not help everyone, they definitely did the trick for me and I hope that one or the other might find them useful.
Phase I: Excitement
Summary: You feel excited about your new adventure and can’t wait to start your amazing life.
Tips: Okay, you don’t really need any tips on how to overcome this phase - you feel excited and adventurous and want this to last as long as you can. As it will most likely not, it doesn’t hurt to plan ahead for when things hit the fan. When you pack your bags, maybe you want to bring your stuffed animal companion, your favorite sweat pants, or download a couple of episodes from one of your top tv shows. If you are very ambitious, you can also sign up for a cultural coaching class or workshop which will prepare you for what lies ahead.
Phase II: CULTURE SHOCK
Summary: The culture shock hits and you ask yourself if you should have moved in the first place.
Tips: Don’t go home! Yes, you might feel like this was a big mistake, you miss your friends and family and your new home country just isn’t what you thought it was. Those feelings are completely normal and you won’t know if you could have made it until you actually give it a chance. Instead of complain about how everything is different to your home country, try to keep an open mind and accept that things are done differently. Embrace the new culture, go out and explore and try to meet new people (Maybe there is a Facebook expat group? Try meetups! Grab a book and read at your local cafe.). When things get really bad, remember why you decided to move in the first place.
Phase III: Acclimation
Summary: After the initial shock you have eased in a little and came to accept your new environment.
Tips: You have made some new friends and explored your new home and things are starting to look better. Don’t forget to spend time on yourself, too. Yes, a crammed diary leaves no time to feel bad but try to make sure your home is and feels comfortable as well. Also, there is nothing wrong with slowing down a little and not having plans for every single weekend and bank holiday. You have all the time in the world, and there is nothing wrong with having a lazy weekend or just hanging out by the beach for a couple of hours.
Phase IV: Homesickness
Summary: Yes, you thought you made some progress but that was before the homesickness hit and you realize how much you are missing out on at home.
Tips: Sometimes, the best way out is through. It’s normal to be homesick - after all, your family and friends are great people, why wouldn’t you miss them? And while I think it can be helpful to have a good mope about things, you should also try to get yourself out of that misery. Find yourself a (new) hobby - blogging, photography, a new sports… Maybe your new home offers hobbies you have never even thought of such as diving or mountain climbing? Hobbies will not only take your mind off things but will also help you integrate and meet new people.
Phase V: The long haul
Summary: You have a routine and feel like you truly arrived in the new country, accepting it with all its flaws and advantages.
Tips: Well, you’ve made it! You have built yourself a life in a new place and found your routines. You like your home, feel comfortable, and found people who got your back. Yes, you miss everyone back home and you are sad that you cannot be there for every birthday and celebration. But you also found a good balance of living your (new) life and connecting with people at home and after all - home is just a plane ride away.
How did you overcome culture shocks and homesickness abroad?
Kate recommends: If you are struggling with homesickness or other mental health issues, I recommend a copy of Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb. In this book, Lori talks about her experience as a therapist - with her patients and her very own therapist.